The Arrival Fallacy

Have you ever reached a big milestone thinking "this will finally make me happy"... and for a moment it does, but then life feels exactly the same?

There's a name for that feeling. It's called the Arrival Fallacy.

For me, as an immigrant, it went like this:

"Once I get my H1B, I'll finally feel secure." "Okay, maybe after the green card, then I can relax." "Definitely after I'm a US citizen. That's the real finish line."

But after every single "win," I'd wake up the next day as... me. The same person with the same anxieties. The relief was always temporary. The feeling of "arrival" never actually arrived.

What I've learned is this: the finish line isn't really the prize. The real prize is getting to be in the race — having the chance to apply for that job, to start that family, to even dream those dreams in the first place.

So many people, sometimes through no fault of their own, never even get to pursue these things. Some people are born in war zones, some have impossible health issues. And they would give anything for the "problems" we have.

Remembering that grounds me. It helps me find joy just being able to walk in the journey, just being able to pursue things that are worthwhile to me rather than being fixated on the outcome or finish line.